Today is a day I have been thinking about and looking forward to. It is my 40th birthday. Honestly, I have approached the 40’s with quite a bit of excitement. There is something freeing about leaving behind my 30’s. As I enter into this new decade, I wanted to share 40 lessons I have learned for a little fun. These are not things I have conquered but lessons I have learned or continue to learn.
1. My mom was right, the 30’s were when life got real.
I still remember when I was in my early 30’s my mom told me, the 30’s were when life got real. Honestly, I saw that as I walked through some hard things. However, I am grateful for the 30’s and how the hard seasons have grown me.
2. Wear sunscreen every single day.
I grew up in the 90s in Michigan where we loved tanning beds. Now, I live in the south and wear a daily sunscreen wishing I would’ve taken better care of my skin as a teen.
3. Your kids are going to mess up and it is okay.
Realizing this has helped me to let go and have grace.
4. No one has a perfect marriage.
You will walk through a hard season in your marriage and it does not mean you are destined to fail. The hard seasons can be what form a stronger bond.
5 Homes are meant to be lived in.
Perhaps it is having three kids and three dogs, but I have learned to accept that my home will not be spotless. A home should be lived in not a museum.
6. Having control is an illusion. We do not have control.
We can try to control others and life and we will only end up exhausted. Letting go and trusting God is when we start to live in freedom.
7. My kids will be okay if they eat food dyes.
Sure they may be a little hyper for a bit, but it is going to be okay. Stressing over that was a waste of my time.
8. It is okay to say no to others.
The more you say no, the easier it will get. You do not have to do everything.
9. You are not the Holy Spirit.
I know we want to point out ways others, especially in our home, can improve but that is not our role. Speak truth and life and trust that God is working.
10. There is no perfect formula to parenting.
I used to think if I did this that I would get the result of what I wanted. However, that is not true. Instead, we can love our kids and point them to God.
11. Good shoes are worth the money.
This past year my husband told me to buy a good pair of shoes for my walks and it changed my walks for the good.
12. Live out a life of apologizing.
When we take the time to admit we are wrong and apologize, we are leading our kids by example.
13. Your husband is not a mind reader.
We all know this and yet we often get trapped in thinking, “he should know.” Take time to communicate.
14. Forgive others.
Having unforgiveness will make you miserable. Ask God to help you to forgive those who hurt you.
15. Go to counseling.
I started going to counseling this year and it has been the most healing thing for me.
16. Have fun!
Go on adventures as a family, have fun together!
17. Start your day with God.
It does not have to be elaborate, but starting your day reading God’s Word will change your life.
18. Gratitude is a great daily practice.
In my darkest seasons, I would write down the good. This helped me stay focused on the goodness of God, even when life didn’t make sense.
19. Find a way to stay active that fits what you like.
Go on the walk, try out the workout app, etc. It helps you physically and mentally!
20. Life is too short- enjoy the margarita or glass of wine.
Anyone who knows me, knows I love a good margarita or glass of wine. If it is not something that causes a problem in you, then enjoy it. We do not need to cast shame on this.
21. Learn about personalities- it will help you deal with people.
Learning more about this has helped me to have grace with others and to know how to interact.
22. Friendships will change but true friendships last through the storms.
Some friendships are just for a season. Some friendships are for life.
23. Look for the kindness of God daily.
God is so kind to us- we just do not always see it because we are so focused on everything else.
24 Get yourself dressed and ready for the day.
You will feel so much more motivated and better about yourself when you do this!
25 You do not need to do it all.
No one is doing it all. Stop trying to be superwoman.
26. God is always faithful.
There have been times when things did not go how I wanted and the “worst case scenario” happened, but God was there. When we walk through the storms and grow in our dependency in God, it is a beautiful thing!
27. Mammograms are not that bad.
I have had a couple because of some problems and they really are nothing to be scared of. Go to the doctor yearly and take care of yourself.
28. Fresh flowers brighten a table.
Fresh flowers are such an easy way to bring some cheer to our homes!
29. Look for your identity in Jesus not in others.
It is so easy and natural to look for identity in marriage or kids but it will just lead us to disappointment. Only finding our identity in Jesus will lead to fulfillment!
30. Wash your face!
The 30’s were when I started being serious about my skincare and I am so grateful I did. Get a face wash and start washing your face.
31. Embrace aging in a way that fits you!
If you want to dye your hair go for it. If you want to let your grey grow out, go for it. The point- there is no right answer.
32. Speak life into younger moms!
Have you ever been with an older mom and heard her say, “Just wait…” It is not encouraging. I am not saying we ignore the hard parts of motherhood. I am saying that we speak life and encourage moms. Yes, there will be hard days and phases but we do not need to live in fear of the phases of our kids.
33. Have grace with your kids.
Our kids are not little robots. They are going to have attitudes or act out. Yes, you should discipline but also realize dinners and activities are not going to be perfect.
34. There is no perfect planner.
Maybe this next decade will prove me wrong but I have spent the last 20 years trying many planners!
35. Family dinners shift over the years but are still important.
In the busier seasons, we may not have a family dinner every night but we still find time to have them. Letting go of perfection with this was key.
36. It is okay to be quiet.
I am a quiet person and used to hate it so much. I would feel so embarrassed by it or that I was not enough when people would comment. Over time, I have learned to accept that it is okay to be quiet and God created me this way for a reason.
37. You do not need all of that baby gear.
The ads for the latest things can get us, but we do not need all of that.
38. Wear the bathing suit.
Whatever bathing suit you are comfortable in- wear it and be confident!
39. You do not need the latest home organization setup.
Yes, the containers are cute but what you really need is to declutter and then create landing zones in your home.
40. You are loved.
We do not need to do more or be more- God loves us just as we are. This is a truth we must daily remember and speak.
Life is a beautiful and messy gift. Over the past forty years, I have learned to see the beauty in the mess and the need for Jesus to redeem our brokenness. He works in the most beautiful ways.
